Explanation for Prolonged Absence Last Week

I’m sorry – I was busy doing God knows what since Tuesday – I just barely caught up with all the features of last week and meant to blog everyday, starting from a post on navroz, some Zoroastrian holiday which was on tuesday, which I need to research, but it just didn’t happen! So I need to make up, to you and to myself, and try to make sense of all the nonsense that’s happened this week – shopping, arranged marriage meetings, skipping classes, painful period, exercise apathy.

This week has been fruitless in many ways – except for shopping which was wonderful because I found one perfect unusual outfit which was stunning and I felt like a colonial colour drawing in Vogue or something! Yay yay yay! Other than that, I went looking for half-saris in various shops in Bombay and they weren’t available anywhere, often I was thwarted by my own body or mind from skipping exercise even though I woke up and got ready at 5:30 am, resulting in my going back to a disturbed sleep. On Thursday I was forced to skip dance class for some errands, and on Friday I ran and went for class only to discover upon reaching and some waiting around that there wasn’t any. This waiting got me late for the 6pm aerobics class I could have gone for. But I went home nonetheless and changed and made the 7pm one, only to find out that the instructor was sick! So I went home sinusy and supergrumpy and decided to take steam, only to BURN MY FINGER because of my stupidity in heroicially trying to lift the lid off the vessel filled with boiling water. Anyway the evening only got better after that with a pleasant dinner with a friend at yummy vegetarian Mikas at Mahalaxmi where I had my beloved momos, Chinese stirfry, Mongolian rice and nutella crepe! Then I went out with some other friends and it was sooo much fun! I enjoyed clubbing after a long time, especially since my harassing experience at Insomnia last weekend where I was groped and stared at and sized up like a… oooh, not a piece of meat, not a prostitute, but like a slave! I was in tears in humiliation and desecration by the end of the night and woke up at noon out of serious depression. But of course girlfriends saved the day. I think company makes a big difference, the protectiveness of the guys you’re with etc etc.

Anyway, the reason Ive been unable to write, has been the depression that has consumed my senses like a weighty cloud of industrial smog, settling on my shoulders and chest and fingers, making me feel that if my heart were to stop beating, no one would ever know, and my mind so quaveringly numb that if anyone were to say something even vaguely affectionate or berating, Id dissolve into tears. And that’s what arranged marriage meetings do to me for some reason.

I just die of boredom in them now. Ive said things along a similar vein so many times that I just say different things not to fall asleep on myself. I know that defeats my purpose but still – I am mutable and hence not always what I am at that point. And I rashly, don’t care.

Forget choosing someone for a lifetime, I can never even decide if I want to meet the person a second time. Everyone Ive spoken to have told me that physical chemistry is really important in a first meeting, and Ive only ever felt that with one person, who was all WRONG for me anyway. So I’m not sure if I should even trust my judgment. Unless the guy was boring as all hell, and seemed to have as much personality as a sea cucumber, I usually opt for a second meeting, to see if I’ll like his looks better as I get to know and like his personality better. Give the benefit of the doubt cos you never know, you know.
Anyway thankfully this was relatively chill, mostly because of the guy. Being a girl sucks. Of course a girl can say no, but she’s supposed to do it sooner rather than later (at least that’s how it seems to me). A girl will only not be pressured if the guy stands up to his parents and says he won’t make a decision unless he wants to. Otherwise after every meetings come the inevitable questions “How did it go?” “What did you’ll talk about?” “When will you make a decision?” “What do we tell the mediator?” Only when the guy is ‘headstrong’ as parents like to put it, do girls get allowed to take as much time as they want.

Now after the initial meeting and exchange of opinions, I simply don’t see why the mediator should be involved. Once the guy and girl exchange numbers, why should the mediator poke her (usually) nose in and proffer wisdom and opinions? Anyway. Not that this one did.

The meeting went pleasantly. I got to fulfill my desire to go to Sea Lounge at the Taj for coffee!!! That’s apparently ‘the’ place for arranged marriage meetings and Ive been DYING to go! Oooh we got a table by the window it was soo dreamy!!! And they definitely have the best cold coffee there. Milky, creamy and sweet. Even better than home. Sigh.

Yes so that was quandary that was rapidly solved with a good dose of friends and fun. Thank god for decreased pressure. Have a good week!