Friday's 55: An ode to Food and authors

i know I'm supposed to be working on my 9/11 post but this is shorter and more fun! My version of Sudoku - which my mother and sister are incidentally addicted to!

Here is the link to the Sepia Mutiny post on the subject. Really fun to do.
The theme basically was to write like someone else, a famous author for example - someone imitated Jane Austen in the comments - but if not, then maybe a stupid white journalist, describing anything Indian by using Indian food metaphors, like the 'curry reference' in this post I had written earlier. Here are some funny food-related references in the comments section.

Desis resist thy selectivity.
Why dost thou appropriate only those
items that thy meager palate can taste?
Thou likenest our grand ancient culture
To insipid morsels natives don’t eat.
Home-cooked food’s simplicity shameth thou
Naan is roti’s bland white-bred counterpart;
No Indian would normally eat curry.
Do not colonise your experience.
Gujju-mama awaits with open arms.

For those who didn't study their ICSE literature properly, or who simply cannot be bothered to analyse bad writing in the style above, the above 55 was written in Iambic Pentameter, which is what Shakespeare almost always wrote in I think. (I tried to make it Shakespeare-style, but I think my brain gave up halfway and became a post-colonial again. I also tried to make it a sonnet but it didn't work. I suppose I could have if I just used REALLY long words.) So you can read it in a dead lilting voice like kids reciting poetry or the way we used to say "Good morning Mrs. So-and-so" to our teachers in the afternoons. The 'natives' are regaining their agency, yay!

Okay, I'm not going to analyse the layers further, that's just wrong, and they're pretty obvious anyway. It's more haiku style in its non-sequitur-ness, than continual. Whatever. Was fun! The last time I wrote a sonnet was 3 years ago and I was in love! Sigh. I've forgotten the rhyming scheme though. Maybe I can create my own!