Home isn't here anymore

Now, emptied of emotion, I feel like I never met you. It’s really quite an unnerving feeling – this sense of complete abandonment of my life to nothingness, since I don’t even have the illusion of holding on to a possibility of you to sustain me. Even though it was probably subconscious.

Though you no longer are present – as I’ve run away in characteristic cowardice and you turned away in a characteristic display of power and self-control that I’ve so admired you for, everything today seems to remind me of you and this unreality. I dream of a future I may never have.

Desperado
- The Eagles. Here's another fansite link.

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

Meant originally to post this under the previous 55 link for 'red', but this is more of the 'movie still'- Casblanca variety:

He held their hearts in his hand gingerly, afraid to break them.
They faced each other under a starlit sky, divided by the sea of intersectionalities mapping class culture colour in its depths running down their cheeks. His reason against her faith.
The three steps between them marked a boundary that neither dared to cross.


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Maybe one day i'll be able to say this with peace in my soul?