Snippets from my days away

During the few weeks I have been away, my sister got married, my fiance and went shopping for wedding outfits, I practiced wedding dances and Arangetram dances, I went on my first ever shopping for dress materials expedition - alone (big big step), my tailor's name shows up most frequently on my calls list, have been packing, have been stressing, and started reading the Puranas and witnessed a random (or routine?) act of kindness.

So, in no particular order.

One piece of advice if you are a first time dress materials shopper - consult your tailor for accompanying materials, (for example, if you have a kurta and you want to make a churidar or dupatta, or a petticoat for a sari. He is your best guide for whether you should buy chiffon or crepe or satin or busy lizzy - what a hilarious name for a material!, and he will advise you according to your spending power and the clothes he is used to making for you). And, if for whatever reason you fail to do so, and think you are too smart for your own good (like me, evidently), or think that all shop assistants give the same advice on materials (not true), I would serrously advise you to stick to shops you are familar with/cater to your demographic - whatever you like to call it. Or you'll feel cheated either way. I went to a different shop because they were offering better colour ranges, and i asked him to get me churidaar material (I am not well-versed with materials simply on the basis of touch). When I gave it to my tailor he shouted at me and told me that that was the type of material he used as lining!

?!?!?!?!

So that was my little lesson for the day.

Once when I was returning home I happened to see notice a beggar seated on the corner. I have grown up seeing this beggar. He has a face that I cant decide had once been rich or not, or corrupt, or lascivious. He always smiles at me when he holds up his cup for coins and I cant decide the reason behind that smile. I have seen him with bandages and without, on various limbs, with white hair, with black... and in the 10 years or so I have seen him, his face hasnt changed all that much but his stubble is graying now. Over the years, Ive made up assorted and rather morbid fantasies about him. What if he had gangrene and no one knew? What if he's one of those secretly rich men who has a mansion in his village and has opened all these schools and all? Everytime I pass him I envision a Beggarmaster bogeyman courtesy A Fine Balance emerging smartlyfrom around the corner and demanding his comission. Anyway, that particular evening, he was sitting there as usual begging when a peanut seller passed wiith his basket. I watched as the seller paused and poured a generous handful of nuts in his can before passing on. That day I witnessed for maybe the first time the kindness of the relatively poor towards those less fortunate than themselves. Here I am, debating for minutes at a traffic signal about a Rs. 2 or Rs. 5 coin that Is nothing but spare change for me, when here a man literally donated a percentage of his earnings to that beggar.

Are the poor are truly kinder than the more economically prosperous ones or is it simply due to the fact that they have a better understanding of basic human need? And yet, how are these same poor people's minds twisted and turned by politicians for their vote banks or their segregationist interests? Is it simply because, to use Abraham Maslow's Motivation pyramid, if the chances of the fulfilment of their basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter are so whimsical, that they have no concernor motivation to fulfil the security and love and belonging need, which are supposedly higher needs? Or that a euphemism for saying that they will jump to every chance they can get themselves for growth - to hell with other people - less competition for scarce resources if some are marginalised? Interesting question.

Ive started readng an admittedly edited version of the Puranas! They are so fascinating! My sweetie fiance ordered it especially from Delhi for my birthday! Apparently the original English edition can only be found in Benaras, in which the first 3 Puranas themselves comprise 16 (or is it 64?) volumes. And given that there are 18 major ones, that's quite a number to own! Though the Puranas are considered to be the 5th Vedas, they were only believed to be compiled in written form during the 10th century or so, where there seems to have been a major hardcore Hindu awakening. Anyway the compilations present a fascinating picture of ancient India and its mythology, they not only talk about the yugas (time cycles) and the lokas (worlds) but also about all the Gods and their assorted stories - Shiva, Vishnu, Ganesha, the sages etc, recount the stories of the Solar and Lunar dynasties of this yuga, they present Gepgraphy, history and politics. For instance in their depiction of Jain monks as evil and their followers as deserters of teh true religion of the Vedas and therefore doomed to hell, - the texts must have obviously been compiled at a time when this religion posed a sizeable threat. It also contains all the 1000 names of Shiva and Vishnu etc, so Ive been scoping out potentially interesting baby names, though nothing seems pronounceable by the Americans so far. I tried reading a couple of dozen of the names out loud and my tongue twisted around itself. I wish they were a little more interestinglly written though. Difficult to read this text to your children when you're coaxing them to eat karela. And not sure my family members will appreciate some of that propaganda ("pray to me and your sins will be forgiven""No, me!" "No, me!" - actually the Gods dont say that their dumb followers do - when will we learn???)

Packing and stressing - the less said the better. I have to move all my stuff to the states when I marry - have 5 suitcases done but my cupboard doesnt seem to have emptied itself at all! What's necessary and what's not? Im a daughter-in-law, its like a custom that i HAVE to overdress! What if I dont have matching shoes and purses for each outfit?

O, woe is me!

About my arangetram - that deserves a separate post! Its one of the most awesome experiences!