Movie Review: Lord of War and Malamaal Weekly

WARNING: RELATIVE SPOILERS!!!!!

I saw two movies last week - Lord of War on Wednesday and Malamaal Weekly at the really nice E Square Cinemas in Pune on Friday.

Lord of War as a title is a play on 'Warlord', a reference to the dialogues in one of the most stunning scenes in the movie - between Andre Bautista of Liberia and Yuri Orlov, the protagonist. It Yuri narrating how he came into the profession of supplier of war machinery to almost every warring country in the world. About his youth, his love, his brother, the system, the people he interacts with at every level of government - from the US to Colombia to Russia to Liberia, Sierra Leone, Cameroun, fanning conflict, selling weapons to both sides, women, children, moral disintegration, drugs, apathy, violence, greed, loyalty, lies, desperation, wit, sharpness. About the tangled web we weave when first we chance upon our greed.

I dont normally like violent movies, but this one was smart, and moreover, based on true events. Nicholas Cage always looks so hapless and pitiful, but gets out of situations with surprising deftness. His deadpan face and arrow-sharp, efficient delivery only increase the life-threatening hilarity of some of his situations. Jared Leto, as his emotional, addicted younger brother, evokes sympathy, and, more than the other characters, even their conservative parents or Cage's faithful, sensitive wife, (played by Bridget Moynihan) is able to really see the business for what it does - kill and oppress innocents, himself included. War only feeds a few pockets and egos. And yet, it doesn't end on a note of hope. War isn't about that remember?! War and money have become the only reality in a starved world, and silence and secrecy is all that is left in the space between souls.

Conclusion: A must-watch.

Now this is a very confusing movie by Priyadarshan, the maker of Hera Pheri, the hilarious Hungama, and the not-so-hilarious Hulchul. And only hilarious in parts, and that to because of the slapstick ridiculous, exagerrated unrealism of the scenes.

Its about a village and its sample characters. An evil female landowner who is super arrogant and greedy (Sudha Chandran) who *snort* roams around in the side seat of a scooter driven by her chelas, and her horny chauvinistic dumbo spoilt brother with an ANNOYING tapori hairstyle played by Rajpal Yadav, who deviously splashes every girl, and peeps into the room where she's cleaning herself up. He decides he wants to marry Sukhmani, a village belle played by Reema Sen, out of spite, after her beau, the hapless-looking Riteish Deshmukh, skinny in stylish poor-person clothes, beats him up. Of course, his sister agrees because the pandit tells her great wealth will follow the footsteps of his wife. Riteish himself is the son of an elephant-riding pufferfish who is in bonded labour to Sukhmani's father the milkman Om Puri. All hell breaks loose when Paresh Rawal, (who has rotten teeth and speaks so slowly and like an overgrown village bumpkin that I want to die) who sells lottery tickets in the village, discovers that one of the people in the village has won the Rs. 1 crore lottery and hatches a hairbrained scheme to get it back. He pawns his goat and holds a bash, whereupon follows a terrible item number by the paedophile appealing skinny shiny scary Rakhi Sawant. With a boob job and no underwear (so said my friends). Of course, the man who has won the lottery is a dead drunkard, who is a good actor with body control though you can see him blink and breathe. A goosechase follows with more and more people getting involved and having to be bribed to a cut of the eventual Rs. 1 crore, including the deceased sister, Riteish, the milkman, etc etc etc. Along comes the metrosexual yummy Arbaaz Khan as a lottery inspector, (hee hee!) with some crack dialogues, and some role playing and running about.

Rajpal Yadav chances upon the plot and threatens to take away all the money if Sukhmani and Riteish marry, and the unfeeling village, lured by the prospect of money, pressurise them to part, and only come to their senses when she attempts suicide. That's the only sensitive scene in the movie.

Anyway all's well that ends well after some running, chasing, splashing, signing over of money, etc etc. My god what timepass.

Conclusion: My corny-humoured friends thought it was funny. I thought it was O. K. Dont watch if youre strapped for cash and time, only if you have a lot of each and cheesy friends who will pass comments. My friends though Riteish was looking very cute.