In Memorium or A Discussion on Principles

I must say that my writing doesn't account for much when my comments are longer and far more interesting than the actual post! But yay, this is fun! Except that checking my email for comments is way cooler than checking WORK email! And it's great when someone responds every few minutes!!! Hehe... makes you feel connected through a tenuous internet cable to another soul in another time and place, if you will. It's almost spiritual and supernatural, the wonder of technology.

Oh god the backlog of 3 drafts is driving me mad! I suppose I should finish one today! AT LEAST the Amitav Ghosh one. I started my Love in the Time of Cholera review yesterday and it will be a while before it's done without really giving any spoilers.

************************************************************************************

But let's talk about more serious matters shall we? Like the absolutes that I seem to be successively and surely discarding, a situation which is causing me serious concern about my moral state.

I've been noticing lately that a lot of me is just hot air. There are things I hate that I avoid doing - little things - cutting queues and white lies, that I let other people get away with when it's in front of me - simply because I don't have the guts and don't want to apppear rude and aggressive to a stranger (I could never be aggressive) . But also, if I were to tell a bitchy pushy looking woman (because only those types cut queues) that the line actually begins at the other end, rather than protecting the rights of others to an elevator they've been waiting longer for, I'm actually more concerned about losing face and looking stupid if she snaps back at me and refuses to budge. Especially if she's witty. People might appreciate the sentiment, but how many people would side me if we got into a verbal match? They'd just watch and hear and enjoy the drama. And nothing would change. She would get in the lift anyway with me, unless I stayed back because I principally refused to share the lift with such a petty despicable person, but then I would have cut my nose to spite my face because I'd be in as much of a hurry as she would, only I'd be going about it in a better-mannered way. Besides, I've been brought up never to be discourteous to older people (to their face anyway!).

What if she asked me to give up MY place since I was so concerned about the right of the old lady behind me? Well, she'd only come across as rude, but so would I if I said that I was in line. That would show I was actually only concerned about myself (which I am).

I don't mind if people ask if they can cut bathroom lines for example. Chances are that if people ask me for something like that, or something more unusual like a lift line, I'd be so struck that a default 'yes' would come out of my mouth anyway. Then I'd have no one to blame but myself, and the cutter to grudgingly admire for his/her initiative.

(I also learnt in my social psychology class that people let you cut lines or go before them if you give them a reason for doing so, no matter how nominal and stupid it is. For example, a pretty girl (hmmm, pretty could be a confounding variable) is more likely to be allowed to cut the line for the xerox machine if she says "Excuse me, could you please let me go first? I have to copy some papers" as opposed to simply asking if she could go first.)

Of course, given my luck, if I asked to cut a queue, I'd probably have a really bitchy person tell me that they're ALL waiting and there's no way my work can possibly be more important. This happened to my friend in a TEMPLE! She was granted VIP darshan at Tirupati at their 3 am session; she had gone because she needed spiritual succor. So the priest let her in first (she's also a fairly famous actress down South), and she heard some random guys bitching about she got to get in first and she was so upset (because it's not like she asked to go in front). So she was all in tears and then she went and confronted them in the temple that it's none of their business who do they think they are; they're in a temple they should concentrate on praying rather than creating new bad karma. So they were evidently taken aback. Hahahaha! Go girl! My problem is that I swallow all the shit doled out to me. I'm everyone's toxic handler, and my mom's mine! (My bad, I shouldn't take it out on her).

In the course of all this beating around the bush what I really want to question is my ability to stand by my principles (if I shall have any left by the end of my life). Can I even abide by truth, honesty, justice, fairness, tolerance, ekantvad ma samvad (unity in diversity) in my own life, leave alone being a torchbearer for universal right? Do I use the concept of unity in diversity and live and let live only because I'm too lazy/timid to stand up for what I believe in? Who's to say I'm right? How many great souls actually realise Truth? Do intentions count over actions? Will God/the cosmos whatever, on Judgement Day, consider that I tried to change others to adhere to what I truly believed was right, even if it may not actually be right? Would fanatics and Talibanists be delivered then? Does God consider adhering to right out of faith or just as a show for society's benefit, even if both result in the same correct action? So many questions, and I think in our heart of hearts (whoever invented that phrase?!) we all know the answers, though we may not admit them.

If I am scared about such stupid little things, how can I have the courage to clear out corruption, the scourge of society, like Manjunath Shanmugam? (Read the links - particularly the Gaurav Sabnis one and the newspaper links about the reactions of officials) Would I risk my life for something? For anything? (maybe, if I were guaranteed a swift, clean death. Can't stand pain - see... selfish again). Granted, maybe Shanmugam didn't know this was coming to him. But he was aware of the system, what was wrong with it, and he had solutions. How many people engage with their work, particularly in a public/government-related/bureaucratic field?

It is all very well for officials to condemn the murder and all that, but what are they doing about it? Of course investigations must be carried out into the reasons people doing their job honestly are killed or transferred! Why does brute force rule? What is at stake? Money right usually? Is money more important than someone's life? If one is all that concerned about earning money, why can't someone do it the right way? That way it will last also. They say that Lakshmi only stays at home if money is earned legitimately. I hope these horrible pump owners and all get retribution HERE ON EARTH so that they may repent their wrongdoings and face their punishment! Who even knows if fires in hell exist? Their soul may bhatako on earth and all that, but its just going to be drowning in more and more ignorance. How will it ever become conscious?

I'm sure people are inherently good and all that. People do want to help people and uphold the right, (though I just read somewhere recently that people will try to get away with doing wrong if they possibly can do so... where did I read it? Can someone help me out with the link here? I'm reading entirely too many different things at the same time!), but no one wants to risk one's life/family/job/prospects for future material/earthly happiness to do so. There would be more people in worthwhile professions like journalism (not the rag kind), NGOs, surveillance organisations, independent judiciary bodies, politics, and the civil service if they didn't have to learn to play any complex kickback game. (I'm sure there are also those who go and blot the name of these professions because they like to play the bribing game).

It's really about the 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' syndrome - such a basic principle that is lacking in our mental make-up practices these days. I had a prosocial behaviour class in college and I really believe there is no such thing as 'altruism'. Maybe Mother Teresa, but she is the exception rather than the norm, and who knew her true motivations? Even if we don't do nice things for others for public praise, we may be doing it to increase our good karma, to feel good about ourselves, for our desire to see others smile/love us more etc. Hence that act is no longer rendered selfless, because it's driven by OUR desire. Unfortunately the 'do unto others' bit also manifests itself as "I rub your back, you rub mine" or "You screw me over, I screw you over". It's all reactionary, tit-for-tat and self-serving. There's no belief in anything beyond the earth, in divine justice, etc. . The decline in fatalism is definitely a result of western influence - I'm not saying which is better. But we often take it upon ourselves to right worngs done to us, and we don't often go about it in the right/best/most effective way. And rather than thanking us if we try to right wrongs done to the public, we get flak for it, as poor Shanmugan did in this post (indignantly reprinted by Sabnis).

The government definitely needs to aid in the upholding of the values in our country's pledge. Satyameva Jayate remains nothing but a forgotten by-line in our nation's marketing history.