AIDS awareness for potential spouses

Oh my God, the stats I've seen regarding sexual activity in India has just been mindboggling. WAKE UP PEOPLE, ITS PREVALENT, ITS HAPPENING, YOU CANT STOP IT, BUT YOU CAN EDUCATE YOUR CHILD AND PEERS ABOUT IT SO THAT THEY CAN GUARD HIMSELF/HERSELF FROM DISEASES. (No one seems to be speaking of sex in relation to love or procreation anymore, its al about Disease and Abuse)

I was searching for an article I'd read last year, and while googling, came across the following disturbing facts and more:

"In India, current available data, limited as they are, indicate that youth will increasingly be at the centre of the epidemic both in terms of transmission and impact. Over 50 % of all new infections in India take place among young adults below 25 years.

A study of unmarried urban college students of low socio-economic status in Mumbai revealed that 26.4% of boys has engaged in premarital sex as had 3% of the girls.

In rural Maharashtra, a study done among married adolescents reported 48% of boys and 3% of girls as having premarital sex,

A recent survey by a marketing and research group in 15 Mumbai schools found that out of 430 students, at least 13% between the ages of 12 and 15 had sexual experiences. Of these, 75% had more that one partner.

In the study done in rural Maharashtra, it was found that one in every two women was infected with RTIs.

Most young people start experimenting with sex earlier than believed and without understanding concepts like safe sex, contraception and other health issues. Many of the adolescents knew something about AIDS but it was not useful information as they had no context to place it in. This has serious implications for reproductive health because lack of information can result in unintended pregnancies, STDs or HIV.

It is estimated that 60-90% of street children in Mumbai are sexually active. About 20 % of street boys in the 16-20 age group visit commercial sex workers regularly and 80% periodically. A study conducted in the slums in Chennai found that 80% of youth engaged in pre-marital sex; 85% of the same group reported never using condoms.

Life on the street for the girl child is twice as oppressive and exploitative than that of a boy. Girl children as young as nine and ten are forced into consuming drugs and then sexually abused.

Studies in 1993 estimates that 15% of secondary school girls have been sexually abused. The Social Welfare Board reports increased molestation, rape, sexual abuse of progressively younger children more within the family than outside.

Increasingly, adult males are targeting younger children for sex in the belief that they are free from HIV and STDs or that sex with a virgin will increase their virility or cure them of STIs.

For more stats and awareness relating to the issue, please go to the Indian NGOs' link I found, from which these stats are quoted.

I'm frankly stunned with the figures being much higher than I expected. And it's not merely about a sexual tryst that can be had and forgotten, it's about much greater implications relating to health and conspicuous social stigma. And no matter who initiates, it's the woman who gets the blame and has to bear the brunt of it.

I heard about a guy who contracted HIV (don't remember how, through a prostitute or drugs) and he KNEW about it, and didn't tell his parents out of fear (understandable). But he AGREED to an arranged marriage by them and didn't even tell his wife. It was only when she delivered an HIV + baby that they found out. Of course the guy didn't have the balls to say anything and everyone blamed the girl for infecting their precious son and she was kicked out.

SO many things like this happen. SO many guys lure girls through emotional blackmail or pretenses to love to sleep with them, and girls fall for it everytime because they've been conditioned to believe that they can derive their happiness from men and that men are the solution to all their problems. There is so much ignorance and misinformation about sex and STDs and it is made to seem so much like forbidden fruit due to the sheer lack of information and guilty awkward tightlippedness of adult role models, that children have to resort to spurious sources of information. In the Asian Age article I was looking for but couldn't find, UNICEF had been conducting an AIDS awareness survey among slum youth in 3 slums in Mumbai and while I don't remember the exact stats, I do recall that the majority of the boys' first sexual experience was homosexual in nature, they they were not considered real men if they didn't make their women cry out at least once in pain during intercourse, that a girl who reacted to their eve-teasing needed to be taught a lesson as she was not a 'good' girl and hence was subjected to greater harassment and eve assault. I was soooo angry and horrified. And there are such ignorant, selfish and cruel men even in our so-called middle and upper classes, who are only used to prostitutes and who believe sex is to be solely enjoyed by the male and that women are their to serve their every whim and fancy. I HOPE that outlook slowly changes, that all this sweemingly unwarranted attention given to sex and urban relational habits is not merely for shock value to sell rags but to broaden the Indian male's outlook. I really feel sorry for the advice Dr. Watsa has to give in the Mumbai Mirror: he often must remind his inquirers of the importance of love and consideration for their partners' feelings and their relationship when people reduce sex to the physical aspect alone!

Of course, while sex is the main medium for HIV transmission, drugs do come in a close second and we need to be aware of the dangers of sharing needles or not using sterile ones and all that. (I'm as ignorant as the next person because the information seems so intimidating).

I want to talk about the possibility of HIV testing as something required for couples in an arranged marriage situation. 11 years ago, when I was 12, I had told my parents that I wanted an HIV test done on the man I would marry and my dad laughed and said "Dream on. The day will never come". While I don't know of anyone who hasactually done this, there thankfully has been a debate initiated, and it's been addressed in the papers though the results still lean towards a negative.

Would I still want my potential partner to do an HIV test? Yes I would, and I'd do one too and we'd swap. Of course it would be completely confidential and both our results would come out negative and I would spend a long happy healthy life with the man that I would eventually fall in love with. Perfect.

If it didn't? Well, is there a guarantee that the results wouldn't be broadcast all over the country after the injury of a strident rejection by the in-law family to be? Who isn't afraid of rejection?

People tend to be insulted even being asked for such a test, as if the opposite party is implying that their child is immoral. It's not a question of morality (except in the case of prostitutes, please). Everyone's young once, everyone's had fun that one's parents dont know about. And mistakes happen. But why should a virtual stranger suffer for it unless it's his/her choice? These parents basking in their false pride are stupid, they themselves are dangering the life of their own heirs, since one reason for getting their children married is the continuation of the family line. This is simply myopia.

Get over it people. This affects your own children. They cannot undo their mistakes maybe but you can help them from making further stupid ones.

Get educated, get aware.