Writing means commitment...
and one Im not necessarily able to fulfil well most of the time. I wrote that one post today, and Ive noticed it before... before I know it over an hour has passed and Im exhausted with my arguments - because though Im passionate, sometimes I try to look at the other side, and the I argue with myself, and thats problematic because i get drained out at the end of it (yup, I dont have very much cranial stamina it seems).
But I have been writing!!! Only my skills (or the lack of them) have been directed towards more...ahem... personal pursuits. And no, that doesnt mean Im writing a novel (I wish!) but it seems that what i do best is write erotic shorty-shorts. And honestly, if this was once my personal venting-ground, it no longer is. Sure, I still have thoughts and opinions, but Im not writing a particularly compelling case for anything and I have to generalise my statements a bit, because I dont want to argue with people about my opinions. If i influence someone positively, great, but I dont want to be blamed for anyone's choices, the way I dont blame others for mine. Everyone is free to have their points of view, and if I feel good at the end of a post, I dont particularly want others to drag me down and start arguments that get personal. So yes, this has become more public than I wanted it to be, just as my body and soul have become (those who say otherwise are liars, even though they are speakin the truth), and unfortunately, anything I say seems to mean more or less than I want it to. So Im tired of words, Im tired of their implications, Im tired of having to watch what I say, Im tired of the politics im embroiling my soul in as a result of the silence and the words feelings and dreams that remain unspoken like a cancerous tumour. I dont want to ever have to do that, which is confusing because at the same time as I like to make as many people happy as possible. That makes me weak-willed and selfish at the same time.
But I want to do some 55s and I will soon. Today is a free day and I have wasted it in a lousy mood, and I want to write about Bharathanatya also. Lets see what happens. I never want to be too busy or too tired or too dead inside to write! And thats what happening! When will it end!
posted by Princess Joya | 2:22 am
4 Comments:
People stop writing regularly when they have nothing to say or just too much to say. I think its the second case with you. Relax, grow into your new life, and I'm sure you'll be back someday.
If you do quit writing here and pick up a new place ever, let me know. I was lucky to find you on blogspot, but if you migrate, I might not find you again. The virtual world is big, I don't want to lose an acquaintance of 5 odd years.
It's sort of like your thoughts are inebriated, but on fire. I have been reading a little zen self-help lately, the important thing is to love yourself.
Hello stranger!
Read some of your blogs. Intense stuff. I am more of a visual person... ever thought of expressing in images?
I have a small story for you. The story is about how I happened to land in your blog, and its strange that the first blog I see is this one. Its wierd, unusual and a bit errie as to how I got to your blog in the first place.
To find out more feel free to write to atuljoshi(at)gmail(dot)com.
Hi there,
Been on your blog before... don't care for it too much but keep coming back to it over and over again. See like you have this thing for writing... I have for reading. I read pretty much any thing that comes my way, have been like this for ever never spared a word that came my way.. In books, on hoardings, road signs, .. Cough syrup labels when there was nothing else to read in the bathroom where mum used to time me out as a 5YO.
Never cared for what folks said, not a dime. SO you go on... write to your hearts content if that gets you going... What you write or quality is another comment I'd make if my reading were waiting... so power to you... write on and I'llcome back to you when there are no cough syrup lables left to be read....
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