Elegy in Advance to my Workplace

So the sniffling started this morning because I was thinking of my past year and some months at my workplace and thinking how much I would miss this boring place. This place I hated and resented initially for being unable to find the courage to secure a job anywhere else, using it as an excuse to avoid the hard work and many false starts and dead ends that would be inevitable were I to actively search for what my 'calling' could be. I'd spend hours coming up with creative ways to further waste my time and give excuses for not doing work, and I know I suck. Im an evil employee and no one should hire me.

But looking around at the glasses that serve as half-walls, at the beautiful guulmohars flourishing below our windows, at the people around me, at the piles of papers by my computer, at the expanse of the office before me, at all the people who were my saving graces, and I cant believe I'm leaving. This place is my second home! The way school once was, where I spent half my waking hours!

So I was talking to my fiance and started crying. And I really want to write this to my coworkers but I am sure we will be all embarassed (though pleased) about this unseemly display of emotion that is supposedly frowned upon in the workplace.

I will miss the entering the building with hordes of people staring at me, the watchman's "Good morning ma'am!" even as he is rushing to get up to open the door when he seems me come in the middle of a leisurely chat with the watchman of the office next door. Swiping in; rushing to the bathroom first thing, hearing and responding to Chauhan's "good morning" and benevolentand protective gaze with a chirpy one of my own... knowing he's unsure of this girl whose hair is a mess at 9am. switching on the computer, and frowning in annoyance at my manager Kaushal's call before I even have time to get my head together... Sarika's greeting and friendly chatter as we do stuff together, Digant's super efficiency and preference for sticking to kaam ki baat, Kaushal and Pradhan's very different ways of approaching our boss... one oily slick and smooth, the other bumbling and tripping over himself, each one knowingnot to take themselves too seriously - Ramesh's snub nose and pate that makes me envision him as a magician or a ringmaster... Dinesh's soft voice, Sharad's circumambulatory and a ntiquated accountant speak, Santosh's adorable pubescent cuteness, Allwyn's helpless look and laugh and ready excuses for every complaint i have, Rajesh's scatterbrained expression and deer-caught-in-headlights look for everythig I tell him, Manisha's prettiness, Abhijeets good manners, Raj's almost Buddha-like unperturbed look, Manish's unrippled quietness. I will miss lunches with Kaushal and Pradhan, their sidey jokes and laughter and chatting about our personal lives, sharing mithai with Kaushal when were both constantly proclaiming were on diets though he has better willpower than me.

I know it is hiughly unlikely that they will ever copme across this blog. I had composed something far more elaborate in my mind when I thought of this a few weeks ago, but the preparations for the engagement and stresses of my own and the simple logistics and running around have diluted my emotions for everyone and everything. I feel exhausted, but very still. Thank you guys for giving me so much, even though a lot of the times I havent taken sufficient advantage of your knowledge, experience and skills. Thank you for giving me amazing memories and a sense of belonging even though I know I didnt, for making me feel so comfortable and happy, so much so that I would wantto be at work more than I needed to! Wish me the best with my life as I wish you!