Movie Review: The Da Vinci Code

FINALLY!!! A movie that is almost as good as the book!

If you havent read the book, you kinda suck, or have been living under a rock, or have been really busy, or you're being non-conformist, or you simply havent been fated to do so. Its not literature of the highest order, but it has a superb, fast-paced plot, and is a bunch of steps up from those Sidney Sheldons you liked to read! (It was so funny, one year (2004) all anyone was reading on flights or trips was the Da Vinci Code, and the year after, it was The Rule of Four, which was touted as the intelligent man's Da Vinci Code. Nonsense, I say).

It's a pity; I think you really should read the book because you'll be able to savour the ideas and concepts in far greater depth than you would in the movie, 3 hours long though it may be (I got a heart attack when i called the theatre and found out).

Anyway, Tom Hanks stars and Professor Robert Langdon and Audrey Tautou as Agent Sophie Neveu as they ambark upon a thrilling race to try to decode an ancient secret that threatens the very foundations of the church (my god that sounded like a trailer script in itself!). They are pursued by assorted police and an albino misguided fundamentalist killer - man in one sceene when he jumped out I jumped and screamed at the same time and bit my frickin tongue in the process owowowowowow it feels so bloody sore now! I cant possibly give you any spoilers, even though you deserve them if you havent read the book uptil now! A lot of history and mystery and thrillery all together.

You know, somehow as soon as I read the book I imagined Harrison Ford as Robert Langdon with his all-American Ralph Lauren type of good looks and dry wit, and I had hoped Sophie Marceau would get the part of Agent Neveu. But while Sophie would have added subdued sexiness and maturity to the role, Audrey does equally well with a wide-eyed pert vivacity and intensity.

Sophie Marceau

Audrey Tautou

Tom Hanks is subdued as usual, but has put on a bit of weight. I imagined Leigh Teabing to be a bit pudgier and Bezu Fache to be stockier and harder. Silas the albino is quite good-looking, and looks like that super-white guy from the band Michael Learns to Rock, who I always found a bit hot. But the self-mutilation scenes are terrible.

My parents haven't read the book, but they pretty much followed it. The varied accents might throw you off a bit, so brace yourselves. And they really liked it, as did I. I still suggest you read the book.

By the way, that thing up there in the pretty wood box is a cryptex, and the letters contain 20 million possibilities - you have to open it using the right word - if it is forced there a vial of vinegar inside around which a papyrus is folded, which will break and dissolve the papyrus so the confidential document is lost. Cool na! I wonder what I would put in if I had such a thing. Most certainly not my will.

Oh, and FINALLY I found something I actually like to eat in Inox - the veggie burger! Ask for it warm, and its cellophane wrapped and greasy as hell, but has a lovely comforting fatty taste and take 2 packets of ketchup otherwise it gets a bit dry. And dont forget to take 2 paper napkins. Yum Yum. Mixed chocolate-vanilla softy for dessert.

Conclusion: Paisa Vasool.