Gupshup about Gossip

In reference to one of Shekhar Kapoor's better posts, in my humble opinion, about gossip, and about blog consciousness.

There are so many adorable onomatopeic words (mostly in the Indian English vernacular) that succinctly capture the spirit of gossip - lighthearted, frivolous, good-natured and communitarian - gupshup, baat-cheet, chit-chat, to name the ones that spring immediately to my mind. I read an anthro article about how gossip is a cultural artifact practically, how its such an intrinsic part of communities - gossip, in its very nature - talk about others, is a vital form of opinion exchange, through its functions of news-carying, opinion-influencing and trend-spotting, be it sartorial or sociological in nature. It can create a sense of community, of intimacy through a knowledge of another's affairs, of a demonstration of good intentions, and the opportunity to change a situation that may be undesirable for the gossippee or the community.

It is precisely because of the above reason that gossip is such a powerful medium of communication, and, on the other side of the coin, precisely why it is so often misused according to the malicious intentions of various individuals or communities. While it can be a liberator for individuals (industry gossip about a bad customer may save you from risk, or about a philandering potential spouse can save you from bad marriage), it is also a a suppressor of individual instincts/desires that could be publicly expressed, but that don't fit in with the society's norms. For the people involved, who gossip negatively affects - it is unjust because the gossip could be untrue, or on the basis of a rumour of malicious intent, but on the other hand people mostly prefer to err on the side of caution for 'there is no smoke without fire'.

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Idioms like that severely affect interpretation and sometimes damage people and reputations, though they tend to hold true. The key word in the above paragraph, however, was malicious. I don't support or spread malicious gossip, and that's what everyone should do. Stick to the facts, not embellish them to entertain yourself or gratify yourself with the appreciative gasps you are sure to get from your listeners. The key is to not draw hasty conclusions. If you see a married woman of your acquaintance out for coffee with another man, it doesn't mean that she's having an affair - that man could be a brother, distant relative, colleague or out-of-town friend.

Once my older cousin asked me: if I saw my friend's husband out with another woman at night (which automatically renders the situation more suspicious), would I tell her? I said yes at the time (I was 16), and she said she wouldn't. When I expressed surprise at her lack of concern/cruelty, she said that would amount to interference because one never knew the system the couple had established within itself in dealing with the instricacies and machiavellian intrigues of sexual tension. Now, I don't know: I guess it depends on how close my friend and I were, because if we were, she would have no qualms about telling me the setup if I were concerned. And then I'd leave her alone. After all, it's her life.

There's definitely a difference between gossip and slander/libel/vilification, that's better manifested in the implication and action than the definition. Gossip is supposed to be harmless and idle in nature, with no ill-intentions. But you know they say that " div interaction.<>

That's a silly little example, but it's true. It happens, particularly in teenage society and in systems in which players are still negotiating their own place and power. And in tightly bound society's where a single rumour can affect a girl's marriageability or a professional's reputation. And that's where slander starts. In the spiteful heart who desires power. Every family has skeletons. But some people simply cannot imagine a fun conversation without gossip or without judgement.

It's funny how people are more likely to talk about others than they are about themselves. Engage in the mehfils, engage in fun and laughter, but not at someone else's expense. (Sometimes, I think the human problem IS that we're sentient beings, and let emotions/motivations rule us irrationally into evil).

And if you are the victim, remember: Reputation is what others know about you. Honour is what you know about youself.

Live honourably. Let the dogs bark.

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Speaking of blog consciousness and the online community - I sort of like the idea, though I certainly prefer face to face interactions. Gossip spreads through these channels too, in the form of word-of-mouth websites, forums, regualr visitors of blogs, online magazines, blogs etc. In the internet arena, one has the ability and avenue to express oneself without the awkwardness of a confrontation, and the opportunity to garner supporters or engage in constructive debate. The great potential is sometimes marred by these debates degenerating into bitchout flame sessions.

I personally would love to write the sort of revolutionary, controversial, enlightening post that would generate 2000 comments a minute - get people thinking and talking and acting revolutionary wonderful change! Alas, it may never happen!

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Does anyone else get as bothered as I do about the placement of appropriate punctuation marks or the lack of them? I tend to interpret a sentence that doesn't have a full stop or an exclamation point but just trails off completely differently from one that does!