Lakshmi Ya Pakda Pakshi?

Ive been thinking about this Ghar Ki Lakhmi BULLCRAP that people and movies keep feeding us girls. You know how they say the wife is Ghar ki Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth) and that when you bring a new bride into the home that means Lakshmi Ghar pe Aa rahi hai?

Thats utter nonsense. It may well be that it is because women are such micromanagers and ideally prudent housewives in order to get maximum value out of their husbands' earnings and all that, but I am under the opinion that it is because new brides have to go loaded to their inlaws' home with so much STUFF - including gifts for the home and everyone in the family. If you expect her to come with so much stuff, OBVIOUSLY you think you're getting wealth, because you literally ARE!

Its ridiculous the amount of stuff some brides take with them - not only clothes and jewelry, but bedlinens, vessels, towels, down to safety pins and hairpins and sewing kits! Because "how does it look if you have to ask your mother-in-law for scissors?" What nonsense! The family better be prepared to welcome a new member in! Theere should be no NEED for embarassment on either side!

And the fact that some of the jewelry and stuff the bride brings with her can be given to the husband's sister upon her marriage? That the mother of the bride keeps needing to give massive gifts to everyone on her married daughter's side? That there is a list of things that are traditionally given to each member at weddings? That so much money is wasted in unncessary pomp and show and in perishables like mithais and useless recyclable tiny things like diyas and pillboxes for every stupid ocasion and for every family, when all that money can just be consolidated and given to your daughter if you wish. But no! People must be unreasonable and stupid! Why should anyone come for your child's wedding and give him/her money unless they might be getting something more than free food out of it unless they love you or your child a lot?

It is said MahaLakshmi is earned only through Neeti, Reeti and Preeti, right way, effort and love I think. Im not sure if this way counts. (I know in some ways it makes sense economically - the girl's parents are freed of the burden of one less person to provide for, and can afford to blow up all the money they would spend throughout their lifetime for a year or so, and the boy's family must prepare to provide for one more person, that too an ornamental one - all the extra expense of clothes and bags and shoes - oh that also drives me nuts - the way daughters-in-law are supposed to parade overdressed wearing all the stuff they own on a daily basis - like they're their in-laws' personal fashion models, and that too mostly stuff of bad taste - but I just want to rant because it feels like bribing and begging).

Give and take leads to egoes. Who wins. Who has the power. I hate this crap about the girl's side having to bow down/give in to the boy's side. The way a girl's parents have to feel like beggars just so they may assure the safety, security and happiness of their child in an alien household. I know it may not always be all that bad, but still. The boy's side may not act like that, but the girl's parents still feel that way.

Its really a trapped feeling. And its a cycle that is time and again perpetuated, because we're humans and we're greedy. For importance, for power, for money in any way we can. It is an enlightened soul who says "I only want your daughter, nothing else" and means it, and not in an brainwashing kind of way, or in a "I dont want anything from you, but the rest of my family and community does" kind of way.

So yeah, middle-aged people with sons who are thinking of minting money on their bahu - UP YOURS! and in an evil prostate cancer (terminal) kind of way, not in a sexy buttsex kind of way. (Of course, that might just be blamed on the bahu as well. Grrrrr.)