Fighting fishies

A couple of silly fights erupted this week over trivial reasons at work and at home, and would have escalated into full-scale Mahabharatas with the utilisation of myriad verbal weaponry such as allegations, hurt feelings, unfulfilled promises, and other psychological ammunition.

At work, it so happened that a couple of women in my department were particularly hungry and went to eat 5 minutes earlier than their designated time slot. When the other women arrived (all the women at work during one lunch slot), one of them alleged that the two were sitting in her place, and demanded to know how they could come early. She then went and complained to the girls' immediate senior, who happened to be male. He then asked the girls why they had gone early, and that they should maintain discipline, and taking offence at his tone, the girls complained to the manager. The manager then spoke to the guy, and said that if he wanted to complain there were many things he could say about the girls attitude too, and that they should listen to someone more experienced than them to figure out how things work. This went on, and by the end of it the guy got fed up and said that he wont ever tell them anything again. Which was completely not consructive, and very like a woman, to be stereotypical here. Which reasonable perosn goes to such extremes?

The person in charge of the lunch arrangements also told the manager that these little tiffs happen especially between women, who tend to form groups and then sit accordingly. But there are no designated seats as such, so technically one can sit wherever she pleases.

Now according to me, both the women are at fault. First of all, the girls shouldn't have gone earlier at all, interrupting an established practice. However, if the girls did want to eat early, they could have sat in a corner, and hence not get in anyone's way. But then again, how were they to know such a fuss would be kicked up. This simply would serve to create a precedence and then everyone would demand the freedom to eat when their hormones demanded. And hence a loss of discipline would occur.

It just seemed so funny to me that grown up women were behaving like kindergarten kids. Did they even realise as it escalated how ridiculous it was and to what proportions it had gone? I guess at some point a misunderstanding rapidly graduates to a question of ego, or "saving face", resulting in a very silly stand being obstinately maintained.
"You're sitting in my chair! Now kutti I'll tell teacher!"
"Teacher teacher she was sitting in my chair!"
"Principal principal he shouted at me!"

Pah!

A nanakdu vaghaar (little fizzle-n-pop) happened at home too a couple of days later. My mother and I had to go for a social errand and when a few ladies get together, well, the chitchat doesn't stop. They get involved in each other's affairs and get concerned over absolute rubbish trivia. I know that a sense of community only develops through this type of kindly-meant interference, and that is why no wonder we the younger generation are fed up of such intereference and gossip and have all become little islands, and that is very sad because we shall all die lonely and old and miserable, but come on! I came from work, and had to run to class. So I hurried my mother up a little impatiently, and ran home to attempt to wear a sari on my own. It came out all wrong and I had to get my mother's help to do it. A little but of rough handling, a few harsh words exchanged here and there escalated to a yelling match and one of my mother's silent treatment situations which I escaped for an hour thankfully. The success of my sari and dance put me in such a good mood that I decided to let go of my usual ego hassles and actually attempt to talk to my mother in such a way that it seemed like I didn't think the argument of the evening was a big deal.

She forgot a couple of time sthat she was giving me the silent treatment but it was so funny how she'd suddenly remember and her face would change and become stoic and she'd look through me and away from me. In the course of my conversation with my father I thanked her for helping me wear the sari and kissed her somewhat stiffly (I hate saying sorry... I'd rather we forget a fight and just carry on like it hadn't happened, only being aware that it had an dbeing careful in the future). A little while later she asked why I was maroing so much maska to her (butteirng her up), and I said I wasn't. She's my mother and I love her, but we're absolutely incompatible Chinese signs as well as starsign, and so we have ideological difficulties with each other. So these silly little conflicts are bound to happen with her saying "Ok I'm never going to talk to you again. Find another mother etc etc." But I know she will soon... we impatient people find it immature and annoying but we fail to realise that it's just a woman's craving to be loved and acknowledged.

So if I treat it as what it is, a little ripple in the pool of love, and don't allow it to become a typhoon, all will be relatively smooth sailing no (very obvious sidey metaphor)? I just need to let go of my ego and try to understand her. After all, we have a life to lead together!

I love you mom. I know you'll probably never read this, but you yourself taught me that conflict is an essential part of life. And true to you, I react to inattention the same way you do. With sparks and fizzles and fishing!